All the Pies of “Waitress”
Pie #1: Blue Plate Special I DON’T WANT EARL’S BABY PIE or BAD BABY PIE – Quiche with egg and brie cheese with a smoked ham center (later referred to as BAD BABY QUICHE PIE by old Joe)
I Don’t Want Earl’s Baby Pie
1 pie crust
4 Tbs. butter
3 slices ham
8 green onions
1 C. brie cheese
1 C. parmesan cheese, grated
2 C. heavy cream
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Cover pie crust with foil and bake for 10 minutes. Remove foil and bake 5 minutes more. Remove crust and reduce heat to 325 degrees.
2. Julienne ham. Chop green onions.
3. In skillet, saute ham until brown. Remove and set aside.
4. Saute onion until tender. Remove with slotted spoon and combine with ham.
5. Spread on bottom of pie crust. Spread brie over ham mixture and sprinkle with parmesan. Combine eggs, cream and nutmeg; pour over cheese. Bake 30 minutes or until set. Cool slightly, cut into wedges and serve.
Pie #2: KICK IN THE PANTS PIE – Cinnamon spice custard (Today’s Special)
Pie #3: I HATE MY HUSBAND PIE - “You make it with bittersweet chocolate and don’t sweeten it. You make it into a pudding and drown it in caramel …”
Pie #4: SPAGHETTI PIE – has at home with husband
Pie #5: MARSHMELLOW MERMAID PIE – From when she was in her mermaid stage. Pie made for Dr. Mueller, and given later in the appointment to Dr. Pomatter. “Biblically good!”
Marshmallow Mermaid Pie
9 graham crackers
1/2 C. sweetened, flaked coconut, toasted
5 Tbs. butter or margarine, melted
34 lg. marshmallows (8 oz.)
1/2 C. whole milk
1 1/2 C. heavy or whipping cream
1 oz. unsweetened chocolate, grated
1. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Combine coconut and graham crackers in food processor until coarse crumbs form.
2. Combine crumbs and butter with fork. Press to bottom and side of 9-inch pie plate. Bake 10 minutes and cool on wire rack.
3. Heat marshmallows and milk in 3-qt. saucepan over low heat until smooth, stirring constantly. Remove saucepan from heat. Cool completely (30 minutes.)
4. In large bowl with mixer at medium speed, beat cream until stiff peaks form. Fold marshmallow mixture into whipped cream with grated chocolate. Spoon filling into cooled crust. Refrigerate pie at least 3 hours or overnight.
5. Top with mini marshmallows, maraschino cherries and rainbow sprinkles.
Pie #6: FALLIN’ IN LOVE CHOCOLATE MOUSSE PIE – made for Dawn
Falling in Love Chocolate Mousse Pie
9-inch baked pastry shell
1 14-oz. can condensed milk (not evaporated)
2/3 C. water
1 (4 serving) pkg. chocolate pudding mix (not instant)
1 1-oz. square unsweetened chocolate
2 C. (1 pt.) whipping cream, stiffly whipped
In large saucepan, combine condensed milk, water and pudding mix; mix well. Add chocolate. Over medium heat, cook and stir rapidly until chocolate melts and mixture thickens. Remove from heat; beat until smooth. Cool. Chill thoroughly; stir. Fold in whipped cream. Pour into prepared pastry shell. Chill 4 hours until set.
Pie #7: BABY SCREAMING IT’S HEAD OFF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND RUINING MY LIFE PIE – New York-style cheesecake, brandy brushed and topped with pecans and nutmeg
Baby Screamin’ Its Head Off In The Middle of the Night & Ruinin’ My Life Pie
4 8-oz. cream cheese, softened
1 C. unsalted butter, softened
1 1/2 C. sour cream
1/2 C heavy whipping cream
1 3/4 C. white sugar
1/8 . cornstarch
1 fl. oz. amaretto liqueur
1 tsp. vanilla extract
1 egg yolk
1 C. chopped pecans
1/2 tsp. nutmeg
1. Bring all ingredients to room temperature. Preheat oven to 375 degrees. Wrap outside of 9-inch springform pan with foil. Generously butter inside of pan.
2. In large bowl,beat cream cheese and butter until smooth. Mix in sugar and cornstarch. Blend in sour cream and whipping cream. Add amaretto and vanilla. Stir in eggs and egg yolk one at a time, mixing thoroughly between each addition.
3. Pour batter into pan. Place pan in another pan at least 1 inch wider and add water to outside pan (prevents cracks). Bake on center rack for 70 minutes.
4. Turn oven off and let cool with door open for 1 hour. Remove cake from water and chill at least 3 hours before removing cake from pan. Top with crushed pecans and dust with nutmeg.
Pie #8: PEACHY KEEN TARTS – made for Dr. Pomatter
Pie #9: EARL MURDERS ME BECAUSE I’M HAVING AN AFFAIR PIE – “You smash blackberries and raspberries into a chocolate crust.”
Pie #10: I CAN’T HAVE NO AFFAIR BECAUSE IT’S WRONG AND I DON’T WANT EARL TO KILL ME PIE – “Vanilla custard with banana. Hold the banana …”
I Can’t Have No Affair Because It’s Wrong & I Don’t Want Earl to Kill Me Pie
2 1/2 C. graham cracker crumbs
1/2 C. brown sugar
1/2 C. melted butter
2 large eggs
1/3 C. granulated sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
2 C. milk, scalded
1/2 tsp. vanilla extract
1/4 tsp. ground cinnamon
3 egg whites
1/2 C. white sugar
1. Mix crumbs, brown sugar and butter until well-blended. Press mixture into a 9-inch pan. Preheat oven to 425 degrees.
2. Beat eggs slightly in a large bowl. Add sugar and salt. Slowly stir in hot, scalded milk. Add vanilla. Strain mixture into pie crust. Sprinkle top with cinnamon.
3. Bake on lower shelf 25-30 minutes, or until custard is firm.
4. In larger glass mixing bowl, beat egg whites until foamy. Gradually add 1/4 C. white sugar, continuing to beat until stiff peaks form.
5. Spread meringue over pie after custard is set, return to oven until meringue is slightly brown. Cool 15 minutes.
Pie #11: SPANISH DANCER PIE WITH POTATO CRUST – Joe orders at the Diner
Pie #12: NAUGHTY PUMPKIN PIE – brought to appointment for Dr. Pomatter, but unexpectedly with Dr. Mueller. Dr. Pomatter unexpectedly out of town with wife
Pie #13: STRAWBERRY CHOCOLATE OASIS PIE – After Joe orders this one and Jenna tells him that it’s just a pie: “Just a pie! It’s downright expert. A thing’a beauty … how each flavor opens itself, one by one, like a chapter in a book. First, the flavor of an exotic spice hits ya … Just a hint of it … and then you get flooded with chocolate, dark and bittersweet like an old love affair …” – Joe
Pie #14: PREGNANT MISERABLE SELF PITYING LOSER PIE – “Lumpy oatmeal with fruitcake mashed in. Flambéed of course …”
Pie #15: LONELY CHICAGO PIE – Teaches Dr. Pomatter how to make this one
Pies #16 & #17: CAR RADIO PIE and JENNA’S FIRST KISS PIE – These are pies Jenna’s mom used to make that she fondly remembers.
Pie #18: OLD JOE’S HORNY PIE – Jenna states she is going to invent after a saucy story from Old Joe.